Review

Movies With Time-Traveling Robots

2014-03-05 by jackbnimble. 4 comments

Have you ever been in the middle of asking a question but your love of time traveling robots distracts you? So your question starts off with something like “How many times on Red Dwarf does the spaceship break down?” but ends up with “While I’m on that subject, if you could you please provide a list of all movies that deal with robots traveling through time I would be very appreciative.” It can happen to anyone, but it specifically happens to one person.

Here we present a comprehensive list of movies that involve time-traveling robots. What is the criteria? The robot / cyborg / android / super intelligent A.I. must travel through time, not just be a character in a movie where other things (meatbags) travel through time.

Terminator

A cyborg from the future comes to the past to try and woo its one true love, Sarah Connor. Unfortunately some meatbag named Kyle Reese swoops in and impregnates her when she is most vunerable. The cyborg’s heart is both figuratively and literally crushed by a hydraulic press because of this betrayal.

Terminator 2 : Judgment Day

This time two robots come from the future, both seeking the affections of one woman, the same Sarah Connor. The heart broken cyborg from the first movie tries to reconcile their differences and become the father young John Connor never had, while the other robot takes a much more aggressive stance. Both robots perish as their love burns hot enough to melt steel, which was deadly to their cold mechanical hearts.

Terminator 3 : Rise of the Machines

Our love struck cyborg is back again. Sarah Connor is long dead, but the cyborg feels it is important that now adult John Connor receive his inheritance. In this case it ends up being a coffin full of guns. Another cyborg comes back hoping to win John Connor’s heart, but much like the first movie, is thwarted by a meatbag who takes advantage of the situation when both her and John are trapped alone together in a nuclear bunker.

Lost in Space

A robot tries to save the humans from their own stupidity, constantly warning them of dangers to which they turn a deaf ear. Eventually this robot gives up and lets the humans crash land on a planet and die.

Star Trek: First Contact

Android Commander Data has been in the same job on the same ship for 9 years, but with his positronic brain, it might as well be forever. His programming wants him to become more human, which sounds pretty racist in a universe with hundreds of varied sentient species. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he travels to the past, joins a radical anti-free thinking group, and tries to destroy the race he always tried to emulate.

Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey

Bill and Ted travel through heaven, hell, and time in order to build very poor robot versions of themselves to fight very evil robot versions of themselves. It is kind of like a bodacious exodus.

Flight of the Navigator

A robot space ship is just trying to do its job, when a routine stop causes a traffic accident with some electrical lines and lose its navigation charts. Conveniently the child who was being dropped off has all the necessary charts in his head, Jonny Mnemonic style. Follow that with an hour of evading the government shenanigans, and a trip back to 1978, and you’ve got yourself a time traveling robot.

Bender’s Big Score

Bender is just a robot trying to make ends meet. So when he travels to the past over and over again to steal Earth’s historic treasures, what could go wrong? Apparently everything. Paradoxes ensue.

Cyborg 2087

Cyborg travels to the past to try and fix dystopian future. This is almost more detail than is provided on the Wikipedia page.

Meet the Robinsons

Like most good robot time-traveling stories this one is a tragic love story. Hatty the Bowler Hat just wanted to be appreciated by its maker. When that doesn’t work, it travels to the past to make sure everyone will always love bowler hats. There may also be a couple of kids in this movie.

Unidentified Flying Oddball

Hermes the Android and his lookalike human companion Tom travel to King Arthur’s court to stop Merlin, who apparently is a bad guy now. Hermes has the advantage here, because he is the only one who doesn’t fear death and is a robot.

A.P.E.X.

Attack Robots are sent back in time to work a union job, destroying a virus that causes a paradox and ruins the future. Unfortunately yet another human is on duty to get in the way and steal all the credit. Meatbag extraordinaire Sinclair decides to do things “his way” and fix the future behind the killer robot’s backs. The nerve of some people.

Future War

A movie about love, hate, beauty, tragedy, and ultimately redemption, Future War (set in the present day) sees the caring Cyborg Master travel to the past to find his lost puppy of a slave “Runaway”. Unfortunately Cyborg Master suffers a fate worse than death, which is appearing in this movie, and then finally is given sweet release when his slave kills him, setting him free from the agony of this picture.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

They call Marvin “the paranoid android,” behind his back, because kids can be so cruel. Is it paranoid to have hyper suspicion, anxiety, and fear? Marvin probably wouldn’t be so depressed if he didn’t have to aimlessly wander the galaxy with people approximately 50,000 times stupider than himself. After meandering around for 100 minutes or so with these half wits, he needs a break, and decides to travel to the end of time and matter and dine at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

TV Shows with a Supernatural Theme

2013-12-27 by jackbnimble. 0 comments

It seems like it is a good time for fans of the supernatural. There are plenty of current TV offerings. Here is what some of the regulars of SciFi.SE Chat room have to say about them, presented in no particular order.

Supernatural - Two brothers follow their father’s footsteps as “hunters” fighting evil supernatural beings of many kinds including monsters, demons, and gods that roam the earth.

Keen – Two brothers traveling the US, fighting monsters. Essentially a weekly horror TV series, with a monster of the week. Layered on top is a season-long arc, which is referenced almost weekly, with arc-centric episodes every 3-4 episodes.

Grimm - A homicide detective discovers he is a descendant of hunters who fight supernatural forces.

BESW – I like it. It’s cleverly self-mocking without being self-indulgent, its premise is similar to many other shows and books on the market but they’ve managed to freshen it up, the characters are interesting, and even when there’s a bad episode Monroe makes it worth my time.

True Blood - Telepathic waitress Sookie Stackhouse encounters a strange new supernatural world when she meets the mysterious Bill, a southern Louisiana gentleman and vampire.

Keen - Trashy vampire romance novels turned into a supernatural soap opera. A guilty pleasure.
Jack B. Nimble - I saw a comment for True Blood that says it is a show about sex which just happens to have vampires.

Once Upon A Time - A woman with a troubled past is drawn to a New England town where fairy tales are to be believed.

Jack B. Nimble – A lot of twists on the classic fairy tales. Who would have thought everyone was so connected? Originally StoryBrook felt like a very small town. As the story (and fairy tales) progress the population seems to be growing exponentially.
Keen – This one is harder to describe at a high level. It has a weird premise and structure. I’d say it’s a fantasy series that mashes up Disney films with some public domain fairy tales and stories, then dumps the lot of them into the real world.

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland - In Victorian England, the young and beautiful Alice tells a tale of a strange new land that exists on the other side of a rabbit hole.

Izkata - Skip out on the tie to Once Upon a Time, since there’s no overlap (yet).

Warehouse 13 - After saving the life of the President in Washington D.C., a pair of U.S Secret Service agents are whisked away to a covert location in South Dakota that houses supernatural objects that the Regents, an Authority above and outside any government, have collected over the centuries. Their new assignment: retrieve any lost objects and investigate reports of new ones.

BESW – Seems to be back on track after some time exploring various styles and themes that weren’t working for it. The reveal that one of the characters has a real-life terminal disease seemed a bit over-dramatic but it’s being handled well.
Donald McLean - I’ve been watching Warehouse 13 since the beginning and I like it quite a lot.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D - The missions of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.

 Jack B Nimble – It would be hilarious to find out that Tahiti is a sponsor of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

 Sleepy Hollow - Ichabod Crane is resurrected and pulled two and a half centuries through time to unravel a mystery that dates all the way back to the founding fathers.

Keen - A cop/fantasy procedural with monsters of the week. The show’s fast pace and clever writing keeps it entertaining as it piles insanity upon insanity. Highly recommended.

Haven - A shrewd FBI agent with a lost past who arrives in the small town of Haven, Maine, to solve the murder of a local ex-con only to discover that the curious enclave is a longtime refuge for people with supernatural powers that holds a lot of secrets, including to her own past.

BESW - Haven has always been interesting to me (surprising since I don’t like Stephen King) but for a couple seasons that was mostly because I was fascinated by how much they could promise to reveal and then backtrack on at the last minute. However, they’ve started answering so many solid series-long questions that I’m wondering if they’re powering up for a series-ending finale. I’m somewhat concerned they’ll get renewed anyway and have to invent new plots to keep going.

There are other shows on TV dealing with the supernatural, but these are the ones that members of the SciFi.SE community chose to comment on.

  • All show descriptions were pulled from the plot summary listed on their respective IMDB pages –  http://imdb.com.

Review – Frozen

2013-12-03 by jackbnimble. 0 comments

Frozen is a page from the Disney of yesteryear. While I’m consciously aware that there are songs in Tangled, I don’t feel like it was a musical in the classical Disney sense. Frozen reminds me of the great animated musicals such as The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and The Lion King. When I walked out of the theater the people (both children and adults) around me were still singing the song “Let it go.”

The movie revolves around two sister princesses. The older one is born with a power to create snow and ice, though is unable to control it. Her powers are subsequently kept a secret to everyone, even her sister. The other sister is born with the capacity to be optimistic in all circumstances. When things turn bad for the older sister, it is the younger sister who sets out to try and repair the damage.

The Sister Princesses

The Sister Princesses

Along the way they pick up a few more characters. An ice miner, a prince, and a snowman. I usually hate comic relief characters, but Olaf the Snowman is delightfully funny and his usage is clever. His naivete and the fact that he is a snowman make for a lot of great comical moments. There is also another snowman, who is quite different. I was watching the movie with a couple of 3-year-old nieces and at one point she became very frightened by the other snowman. People with smaller children should probably wait to see it at home (this is actually true of anyone who thinks it is a good idea to take little children to the theater).

Olaf finds a flower.

Olaf finds a flower.

Frozen has a lot of things going for it, good characters, songs, jokes, animation, and fun. Maybe it is the start of another run of great Disney films.

Review – Thor: The Dark World

2013-11-21 by jackbnimble. 0 comments

Thor_The-Dark-World_Poster

Thor: The Dark World is decent film. In this movie an ancient enemy called the Dark Elves is attempting to revert the universe back to a time when there was no light. Apparently the ideal time to do this is every 5000 years when the 9 realms are in alignment. The last time this happened, a great war was fought and the Dark Elves were annihilated. This makes me wonder if there was a war every 5000 years with the Dark Elves after light began or if the universe is less than 10,000 years old, making the first war the only war.

The subtitle the Dark World refers to the world of the Dark Elves, which has subsequently fallen into ruin. As an inhabitable planet it is pretty forgotten. Why haven’t the Asgardians (or other realms / races) moved to colonize the now abandoned Dark Planet? It should be noted that the Dark Planet is dark in name only. There appears to adequate light available.

The Dark Elves had a secret weapon (the Aether) they hoped to use during the convergence, but that weapon was captured by the Asgardians and locked away. As it happens, the convergence is happening again. This becomes the major plot point of the movie, as Jane Foster comes in contact with the weapon, which kind of/sort of possesses her. There are also dark forces trying to acquire the weapon in time to use it during the convergence.

Thus we see Jane Foster brought to Asgard in an effort to cure her of the Aether. There is the obvious question of the rational of Thor being in love with Jane Foster. She is from another world and will not live the standard 5,000 years of an Asgardian. There is also the obvious looks from Sif, who is probably the logical choice for Thor. But really, unless Jane were somehow given the same lifespan as Thor, Sif just has to bid her time before she can marry the heir apparent to Asgard. At most it is going to be 60-70 years. What is that amount of time considering the lifespan of Asgardians? Also Sif has been around for a long time, apparently not making her move, she can hardly blame Jane for that. The dark forces subsequently come to Asgard to acquire the Aether, and there is much conflict. Thor is eventually forced to seek the help of Loki, his imprisoned brother.

Before the movie came out I asked my wife if she was interested in seeing it. She said “I don’t know, from the trailer it isn’t clear to me that Thor will take off his shirt.” I said “is that all Thor is to you, just something to ogle?” she replied “that is all Thor is to anybody.” For the female audience that loves Thor for his muscles and not his origin story, I will say that what you seek is in the second movie, if only briefly.

I felt the movie was a worthy sequel to original movie. It was certainly better than Iron-Man 2. At least these characters get sequels, the same cannot be said for poor Hulk, who doesn’t even have his own movie yet (with the current actor).

For all the questions I raised in this review, there are only 7 tagged as thor-the-dark-world on the Scifi.SE site at the time of writing. Over half of them are related to the end credits scenes.

Guide to either loving or hating Ender’s Game (film)

2013-11-08 by jackbnimble. 3 comments

Warning, potential spoilers ahead (for those who didn’t read the book).

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The internet is extremely polarized, maybe it is because of all the 1′s and 0′s, but there is only enough room on it for love or hate. If you walk out of Ender’s Game unsure which extreme position to take, here are some things that might help you.

Something to love: After 28 years of screwing around, they finally made it into a film
Something to hate: The beloved children’s book The Hobbit gets 3 – 3 hour movies while we get a 2 hour film that could have easily been 2.5 hours and refined a few points

Something to hate: “The enemy’s gate is down” is now Bean’s idea
Something to love: Bean still says it as the end of the movie to try and relax everyone

Something to love: The Battle Room is pretty cool and larger than you imagined
Something to hate: The Battle Room now has an incredibly distracting view of the Earth

Something to hate: All of the kids appear to be the exact same age and Bonzo is inexplicably a foot shorter than everyone else
Something to love: Almost all of the important characters are represented

Something to love: Rather than just shooting light, the guns now shoot balls of energy
Something to hate: The Battle Room is reduced to paintball in zero gravity

Something to hate: Ender’s fight with Bonzo is short and ends more in an accident than intent to win
Something to love: Ender still drinks the blood of his fallen enemies

Something to love: Many of the special effects look amazing
Something to hate: The mind game looks like a modern day video game

Something to hate: The film portrays Ender as having been in only one army and only one battle before being promoted to commander
Something to love: We don’t have to see Ender cry himself to sleep every night because no one loves him

Something to love: Peter and Valentine take a major back page to the story
Something to hate: If Peter and Valentine were your favorite parts of the book, then you hated the book as well

Something to hate: The Formics are never called Buggers
Something to love: Ender still gets to destroy that filthy Bugger race

Live Chat: Star Trek TOS “Space Seed”

2013-09-10 by jackbnimble. 0 comments

Continuing from our first live chat, some of the originals from the chat room also watched Star Trek TOS “Space Seed.”

Netflix incorrectly classifies Star Trek TOS “Space Seed” as a prequel to the Wrath of Khan. That is like saying Batman Begins is a prequel to The Dark Knight. It isn’t a prequel if it was made first.

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The Enterprise in space.
Jack B Nimble: Somebody airbrushed that ship.
TangoOversway: That’s the CGI redo of the FX
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The viewscreen from the main bridge.
Jack B Nimble: We’ve discovered another patch of empty space.
OghmaOsiris: They’re coming up on empty space fast!
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KIRK: Are you certain of your sensor readings?
SPOCK: Definitely a space vessel of some type.
KIRK: Origin?
SPOCK: Unknown. It could hardly be an Earth ship. There have been no flights into this sector for years.
Jack B Nimble: The ominous music should have tipped them off.
Keen: They may as well have shown Dr. Evil on the viewscreen.
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KIRK: An old Earth vessel, similar to the DY=500 class.
SPOCK: Much older. DY-100 class, to be exact. Captain, the last such vessel was built centuries ago, back in the 1990s.
OghmaOsiris: This optical illusion I’m looking at tells me there’s a sensor analysis.
Jack B Nimble: They must have been geniuses to interpret all those flashing lights.
TangoOversway: Believe it or not, at that time, the controls seemed really space-shippy.
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SPOCK: Hull surface is pitted with meteor scars. However, scanners make out a name. SS Botany Bay.
KIRK: Then you can check the registry.
SPOCK: No such vessel listed. Records of that period are fragmentary, however. The mid=1990s was the era of your last so-called World War.
TangoOversway Picard would have sent Riker over by now. Archer would have just hopped in a shuttle and gone immediately.
Jack B Nimble: Ohura was eaves dropping.
TangoOversway: And now we have the Vulcan/human logic debate McCoy just loves.
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KIRK: Oh, I’ll need somebody familiar with the late 20th-Century Earth. Here’s a chance for that historian to do something for a change. What’s her name? McIvers?
SPOCK: Lieutenant McGivers.
Jack B Nimble: MacGuyver? She is going to build something amazing.
Keen: Do they just keep her in a closet?
OghmaOsiris: Woman in a red shirt. She’s gonna die.
TangoOversway: Now taking bets on whether McGivers dies.
Keen: First she’ll get pregnant and then she’ll die. This was the 60′s.
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The landing party explores the Botany Bay.
Jack B Nimble: Scotty is a great engineer, out of 80 buttons on the panel he found the light switch.
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The ship is found to be full of sleeping passengers.
Jack B Nimble: This space ship only has beds. It is a space ship of ill repute.
OghmaOsiris: Is he wearing gold chain mail?
Jack B Nimble: He is, after all, a warrior
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With the vital signs failing, Kirk attempts to rescue the sleeping man.
TangoOversway: We can’t figure it out — just break it, Jim!
OghmaOsiris: How many captains does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
Jack B Nimble: Negative captain. just the one large blinking green light.
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KHAN: How long?
KIRK: How long have you been sleeping? Two centuries we estimate. Landing party to Enterprise. Come in.
UHURA: Go ahead, boarding party. We read you.
KIRK: Lock in on McCoy’s beam. He’s transporting back with a casualty we discovered here.
MARLA: Magnificent.
TangoOversway: Ricardo Mantalban in fishnets.
Keen: I think Leelo from The Fifth Element wore more than Kahn.
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KIRK: Botany Bay. That was the name of a penal colony on shores of Australia, wasn’t it? If they took that name for their vessel
SPOCK: If you’re suggesting this was a penal deportation vessel, you’ve arrived at a totally illogical conclusion.
Jack B Nimble: Stupid illogical Kirk.
OghmaOsiris: Seriously, what does Spock do??
Jack B Nimble: Spock uses the white and black wheel to hypnotize himself.
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MCCOY: He’ll live.
KIRK: My compliments.
MCCOY: No, I’m good, but not that good. There’s something inside this man that refuses to accept death. Look at that. Even as he is now, his heart valve action has twice the power of yours and mine. Lung efficiency is fifty percent better.
Jack B Nimble: Even in sickbay his shirt is open. His chest must need a lot of air.
Keen: McCoy’s lying, he is THAT good
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Kirk asks McGiver to learn more about Khan
TangoOversway: I like the ginger in this episode a LOT more than the ginger in the last one. OghmaOsiris: I have sheer delight of examining his….mind
Jack B Nimble: All redheads are traitors.
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Khan awakens in sickbay and begins to exercise (or something).
Keen: Even in the 2300′s, hospital gowns show too much.
Jack B Nimble: Let me just warm-up with some Tai Chi
OghmaOsiris: Does he have a native american mullet?
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Khan hears someone approaching, and grabs an antique scalpel from a display case.
TangoOversway: Never saw that display case before or since in any episode.
Keen: What the [expletive] is that wall display?!
Keen: You show off your torture implements like that, not your medical equipment.
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McCoy enters sickbay to examine his patient, and discovers he is awake. MCCOY: Well, either choke me or cut my throat. Make up your mind.
TangoOversway: Odd how it’s there just when Kahn needs it. Old surgical instruments.
Jack B Nimble: McCoy is pretty brave.
Keen: And now McCoy’s captain obvious.
OghmaOsiris: Does McCoy wear eye shadow?
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Kirk questions Khan, who claims he is fatigued. Kirk gives him access to the modern technical documents about the ship.
Keen: Why’s there a [item] sticking out of the wall?
Jack B Nimble:It is a reading light.
TangoOversway: That’s a scanner for the medical readouts above them.
Keen: Men had better hair in the 60′s. At least Kahn did.
OghmaOsiris: I want Kirk’s hair.
Jack B Nimble: Kirk suspects he is dangerous but still gives him technical specs to his ship?
TangoOversway: Yeah, funny, that. Someone asks for technical plans for your fully armed starship and you say, “Sure. Be my guest.”
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McGivers cannot help but be attracted to Khan. Khan explains his position on governments and power.
OghmaOsiris: So, Kahn was a communist?
TangoOversway: No, he was a tyrant.
OghmaOsiris: Same thing.
Jack B Nimble: Benevolent tyrant.
OghmaOsiris: He sleeps with her in 3…2…
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Khan flirts with McGivers.
Jack B Nimble: I would think women would be afraid to sit down in those skirts.
OghmaOsiris: Captain’s orders
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Khan Noonien Singh, professional player.
OghmaOsiris: Where did that mirror come from??
Keen: SPAAAAAAAACE!
TangoOversway: They took it off the bridge, from Uhura’s control panel.
Jack B Nimble: Mirrors spontaneously appear and disappear throughout the ship. It is an old problem of the Consitution class starships.
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McGivers insists that Captain Kirk and the senior staff dress their best for a dinner with Khan.
Jack B Nimble: Those are some hideous dress uniforms.
TangoOversway: Notice Checkov, who recognized the name “Botany Bay” is nowhere to be seen in this entire episode.
TangoOversway: But you do get to see Scotty’s legs in a dress uniform!
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Khan and McGivers discuss the past and present.
Keen: Is he wearing shrinky-dinks on his chest?
Jack B Nimble: They don’t make a shirt for Khan that closes in the front.
Keen: They can’t find a shirt that could contain those magnificent pecs.
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Before heading to dinner Khan woos McGivers into a kiss.
TangoOversway: And I can tell you what censors would have said about that kiss.
Keen: Would they say ‘More!’?
TangoOversway: Same thing they said about every kiss in that whole series. Every time there was any kissing in the script, NBC censors would write back and say, “Avoid the open-mouthed kiss!”
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The senior staff entertains Khan. After some pointed questions from Kirk, Khan once again says he is too fatigued to continue.
Jack B Nimble: Was that Romulan ale? Khan is constantly fatigued.
TangoOversway: He’s a Earth war criminal — and they’re not putting him in the brig?
Jack B Nimble: He is a man of weak constitution.
OghmaOsiris: No no no. Romulan ale is illegal!
TangoOversway: Rule #1: Kahn Lies.
Keen: He’s not a space criminal, so he’s fine by them.
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Back in Khan’s quarters, McGivers visits him.
TangoOversway: I’ll bet he’s not fatigued now!
TangoOversway: Love that profile shot — he was posing so she could paint his picture and put him on a dollar bill for his new government.
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KHAN: Go. Or stay. But do it because it is what you wish to do. Well?
MARLA: I’ll stay a little longer.
Jack B Nimble: In Augment tradition they are married now.
Keen: Kneel before Zod. Wait, wrong show.
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Spock is able to dig up some information on Khan’s past.
Keen: Looks like Powerpoint sucked in the 60′s too.
OghmaOsiris: So, Kahn was Hussain?
Jack B Nimble: He was Mao
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Spock is able to dig up some information on Khan’s past, everyone reaches the same conclusion about Khan.
Jack B Nimble: Khan is a redshirt. He isn’t going to make it.
TangoOversway: Kahn’s in a red shirt. He’s going to DIIIIEEEEE!
Keen: Haha, they found a way to defeat Kahn. They put him in a red shirt!
OghmaOsiris: Hey hey hey! Kahn’s in a red shirt!
Keen: Color-blind people think green shirts die on Star Trek.
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Kirk contronts Khan about his past.
OghmaOsiris: So, is Kahn Spanish? Native american? Indian? what?
Jack B Nimble: He is Middle-Eastern
TangoOversway: Kahn was Asian.
Jack B Nimble: But he also knows Tai Chi
TangoOversway: The actor was hispanic (I think Mexican).
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Khan is confined to his quarters, but quickly escapes.
Keen: Why’d Kahn going through the door, all he had to do to break out was punch one of the cardboard walls.
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Khan, with the assistance of McGivers, transports back over to his ship, which contains his remaining Augments.
TangoOversway: One guard, with his back to the door?
Jack B Nimble: Khan has already mastered the Vulcan neck pinch.
TangoOversway: That’s not Lt. Kyle, so they can kill him.
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Khan awakens the rest of his crew.
Keen: YOGA FOR ALL!
OghmaOsiris: Tai Chi break
TangoOversway: She looks a LOT better in fishnets than Kahn.
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On the bridge, Kirk receives a security alert that Khan has escaped.
Jack B Nimble: Wow, security is slow
OghmaOsiris: Security contacted Kirk… and then Kirk had to request a security alert??
TangoOversway: [Kirk] Spock, you think this has anything to do with me letting him read the tech manuals?
Jack B Nimble: [Spock] I wouldn’t worry about it Captain.
TangoOversway: It’s a command decision to call an alert.
Jack B Nimble: Self Destruct the ship!
Keen: Haha, Spock totally just mocked Kirk for letting Kahn read the tech manuals.
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Khans troops come back to the Enterprise and begin to take over the ship. KHAN: Nothing ever changes, except man. Your technical accomplishments? Improve a mechanical device and you may double productivity. But improve man and you gain a thousand fold. I am such a man. Join me. I’ll treat you well. I need your training to operate a vessel this complex.
Keen: So, Kahn’s an anti-technology luddite? That’s all I got out of his ranting just now.
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The crew attempts to fight back.
Jack B Nimble: The only reason this episode aired was because a white guy hit a black woman.
Keen: Oh, now we get back-handed slapping. Where was that guy during the last episode when all those kids needed to be smacked?
TangoOversway: I think Uhura looks hot with that hair style.
Jack B Nimble: Scotty knocked out an Augment with one punch.
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Khan captures the entire crew. McGivers has second doubts and frees Kirk.
Jack B Nimble: You are such a disappointment, redhead.
Keen: [Darn] gingers.
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Kirk frees Spock and begins to retake the ship.
Jack B Nimble: Shouldn’t Spock physically be an equal match for these Augments?
TangoOversway: Spock might be an equal for ONE Augment.
Keen: That henchman was specifically bred for his superior back-handed slaps.
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Kirk floods the ship with knockout gas, but Khan escapes. Kirk pursues him.
Jack B Nimble: There are too many corners to hide around on this ship.
Jack B Nimble: As captain I would remove all hidden corners first thing.
TangoOversway: Kirk! That was the oldest trick in the book!
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Khan and Kirk’s stunt double engage in hand to hand combat.
OghmaOsiris: Oooh, Kirk knows karate now.
TangoOversway: In this fight, note the cylindrical thingies with handles sticking out from the control panels on the back wall. They’ve never been seen before or since.
Keen: Who thought it was a good idea to install a gym in the middle of Engineering?
Jack B Nimble: They should have brought Chuck Norris out of cryo to fight Khan.
TangoOversway: Chuck Norris doesn’t need Cryo.
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Kirk is able to overcome Khan and his forces.
Jack B Nimble: Why do they keep getting in dress uniforms?
TangoOversway: Scotty’s not wearing his kilt for his dress uniform.
OghmaOsiris: What is that colored thing on Kirk’s vest?
spaceseedhd828
Kirk offers Khan the option of starting fresh on an unsettled planet. McGivers chooses to go with him.
Jack B Nimble: She doesn’t fit the superior breeding profile. Khan’s children are going to be slow witted.
TangoOversway: But she’s cute and has hot legs.
OghmaOsiris: She has the hips for it
Keen: It’s a shame we’ll never hear from Kahn and friends again…..
OghmaOsiris: Or will we?? BUM BUM BUMMMMM
spaceseedhd859
The episode ends on an ominous note.
Jack B Nimble: The closing credits have some bizarre stills.

All images pulled from TrekCore

Review – Turbo

2013-07-26 by jackbnimble. 0 comments

Turbo Poster

Turbo is a film that doesn’t know what kind of movie it wants to be. Is it the type of story where the character isn’t satisfied with their existence and hopes for something more from life (such as A Bug’s Life)? Is it a racing movie where the lead character needs to grow up a little (such as Cars)? Is it a super hero origin movie (such as Spider-Man)? Unfortunately this movie is all three, and it doesn’t do a good job with any of them.

Theo / Turbo is a garden snail who happens to live next to the current Indy 500 champion. As such he obsesses and dreams of being a professional racer. After nearly killing himself a few times, trying to prove he is faster than he is, he sets out on a rainy night to get away from his sad slow existence. Eventually he accidently finds himself involved in an illegal drag race. When the driver hits his nitrous oxide Theo / Turbo undergoes a Spider-Man type transformation that turns him into some kind car / snail hybrid. Rather than just making him fast, it also gives him headlights, taillights, a radio, and a backup beeper. From there a series of even more improbable events leads him to have an opportunity to fulfill this dreams.

It is somewhat distracting to me that all of the snails can understand English being spoken by humans. From our perspective the snails also speak English, but of course none of the humans can hear or understand them. It is also distracting that once the nature of this special snail is revealed to the public (and the world at large) that the scientific community doesn’t appear to be at all interested in it.

Overall this movie was not very good. I remember only thinking a couple of things were funny or clever. I saw this movie at a drive-in theater with a number of children. In general those kids were bored and were more interested in snacks than laughing at the movie. I don’t remember really hearing any laughter at all through the film. So even as a movie just for kids I don’t think it delivers well. It reminds me of Bee Movie, which also felt flat.

So in the end this is a movie that is trying to be A Bug’s Life without the diverse bug characters, Cars without the growing up, Spider-Man without the character development, and Bee Movie will all its so called comedy. Maybe there is a demographic who is looking for that kind of movie, but it isn’t adults or children.

Review – World War Z

2013-07-19 by jackbnimble. 1 comments

Warning – This review may contain spoilers or information not immediately obvious from the trailers.

World War Z poster

Like many people when I read the book I was caught up by the all the stories of before, during, and after the zombie apocalypse. The individual stories, the psychological, political, and societal reactions from the characters brought a feeling of how real and terrible the breakdown of society would be.

When I saw the movie I immediately recognized that a lot of that had been taken out in order to create a fast paced action movie. It reminded me of the movie 2012. In that movie you follow a family as they race from one disaster to another trying to escape the destruction of the Earth. World War Z felt very similar. Instead of seeing many accounts across the entire world we follow one man, Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt), and his family while he goes from one disaster to another looking for a solution to the zombie problem.

In the book there isn’t a cure (although there are stories around people claiming to have them). Subsequently the book is about survival. When the book ends societies and the Earth as a whole are forever changed because of the apocalypse. In the movie things are obviously going to be different, but I get the feeling not in the same way.

Everyone everywhere has been talking about how the movie has nothing in common with the book except for the title. Here are some of the things that are in fact the same.

  • Both have zombies.
  • Israel abandons some disputed territories and builds a wall around their protected zones.
  • The initial outbreak area is in East Asia.
  • Major cities fall with people trying to flee to the sea.

Here are some things I think the movie does a poor job of explaining or takes too far.

  • From infection to becoming zombified is super fast sometimes and really slow or non-existent other times. Once that stuff is in your blood it shouldn’t take long for it to latch onto your soul.
  • The portrayal of how bad the teeth are in England (it is too horrifying).
  • The zombies working together to overcome barriers.
  • Zombies are attracted to some sounds, but not other sounds (like sounds made by other Zombies). These zombies are apparently smart enough to distinguish sounds by their origin (even when it is a pop can knocked over by a human that ultimately bursts open).
Zombie with bad teeth.

The real horror here is the dentistry in England.

Overall I felt it was a decent enough zombie action movie. The one question both the book and the movie fail to answer is: If these zombies have unlimited energy why doesn’t anyone think to trap them in giant mount wheel that turns a turbine and get unlimited energy forever? You’d just need a guy or two standing behind a secure window to entice the zombies to move towards you. Think people! Think!

Review – Man Of Steel

2013-06-25 by jackbnimble. 3 comments

Although I went into the film with a few spoilers (having listened to a movie review podcast and seeing a few questions on SciFi.StackExchange) I was surprised by the amount of information I didn’t already know.

Man of Steel

Man of Steel gets arrested after numerous FAA violations.

 

Man of Steel presents a more science fiction origin to Superman than we have previously seen in films. In the comics and cartoons we know that Krypton was technologically advanced and Superman reaps some of the benefits of that, but in the movies the Kryptonian technology seems to be based primarily on crystals and their ability to make houses. In Superman Returns Lex Luthor captures some crystal growing technology and attempts to create a new continent. When asked how he is going to defend it he says he’ll use the advanced technology. Considering it is just him and his idiot henchmen, I have no confidence in his ability to do this. I have great confidence in Zod, because with Man of Steel the technological superiority of the Kryptonians is obvious. Also, they are all supermen.

Superman’s powers are giving a slight polish to the established canon.  Having evolved from a significantly harsher planet, Kryptonians on a whole are highly adaptable. Martha Kent describes the baby Clark Kent as wheezing and coughing through the night as his lungs tried to process Earth air. He gains super strength and speed from the Earth’s young sun. His additional abilities of x-ray vision, heat vision, and telescopic vision are a result of the Earth’s atmosphere. Superman now loses some powers when he is removed from that environment (somewhat… inconsistently). Hopefully the great Superman powers race won’t begin where in every new movie he needs more and more ridiculous abilities (I’m looking at you, Superman IV).

For the first time on film we see the super speed and destructive strength of a super charged Kryptonian at work. The almost teleporting nature of the attacks is what I imagine The Flash would look like.  Speaking of other characters, there are at least two Easter eggs in the film. One referring to Lex Luthor and another referring to Wayne Enterprises. With the exception of the Easter egg billboard in I Am Legend I am not aware of any cross references between any DC heroes before in the films. Everyone knows that DC and WB would love to see the same kind of money from a Justice League movie as Marvel did with The Avengers. Green Lantern didn’t do well, but maybe if Man of Steel does extremely well JL will still happen. If DC wants to do an origin story for every member of the Justice League they still need to do 5 (Flash, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, and presumably Batman).

What did I think of it? I felt the movie was fairly slow throughout the middle. The intense action scenes at the start and end seemed to compound the feeling on nothing happening in-between. I find myself frustrated by the mentality of Hollywood that every super hero must reveal their identity on screen (or at all). Batman has told so many people that he is Bruce Wayne he has probably just started printing it in on this business cards.

Secret Identity Card

Secret Identity Card

Sadly the same may be true for poor onscreen Superman.  The action of the film was both amazing and horrifying. This isn’t the same kind of Superman we saw in the 70s and 80s. I walked out thinking the movie was okay.

 

Review: Iron Man 3

2013-05-23 by Beofett. 1 comments

I finally saw Iron Man 3.  Better late than never, right?

I’m actually not so sure.

The movie wasn’t bad, but it definitely wasn’t good.  I really liked the original Iron Man, and felt that Robert Downey, Jr. had really nailed the character of Tony Stark.  Iron Man 2 was a bit of a disappointment, but Mickey Rourke’s performance was a redeeming factor.  Iron Man 3, however, had no comparable standout performances.

I don’t mean to detract from Ben Kingsley’s acting abilities; indeed, he did an admirable job.  Similarly, I cannot fault Guy Pearce in his portrayal of Aldrich Killian.

Rather, I place the blame on the characters themselves.

While I admittedly am not intimately familiar with the comic book series, I know enough about the franchise to have been very interested in seeing The Mandarin introduced as Tony Stark’s latest nemesis.

The Mandarin, played by Ben Kingsley

Nice shades!

The Mandarin, as depicted in Iron Man 3, is a total dud.   To say the character lacked depth is a massive understatement.  The buildup of mystery and menace the movie endeavors to enshroud him in is deliberately and intentionally sacrificed as a major plot device, yet the result of that sacrifice is the revelation of a far lesser menace.

It is clearly supposed to be a surprise twist (I am trying to avoid spoilers), yet the only surprise seems to be “hey, guess what?  The situation is not nearly as interesting as you thought it was. Bet you never saw that coming!”  Yay?

The other major character introduced is Aldrich Killian.  He’s intended to be a brilliant mind in his own right, and the very beginning of the movie clearly shows that the character is supposed to be a foil, and potential antagonist, to the flamboyant genius and showmanship of Tony Stark.  However, the character turns out to be remarkably one-dimensional, and his motivations and overall role turn out to be decidedly generic.

The titular character also lacks the depth seen in the previous titles.  Clearly there is intent to add depth, by highlighting Tony Stark’s insecurities and emotional sensitivities, yet it seems that either the true character-building elements were largely cut from the final production, or what exists was tacked on as an afterthought.

Within the first 20 minutes of the movie, it is established that Tony is having some residual problems from the events at the end of The Avengers.  These problems crop up a couple of times during the movie, yet are never actually resolved in a meaningful way.  Instead, it’s just “stuff he’s dealing with”, and doesn’t really accomplish anything towards adding depth to the character.

Indeed, it feels like it may be tacked on strictly to provide some links to The Avengers, which appears to be a common theme in Marvel Studios’ recent titles.  It seems like they are trying to bring the same breadth and depth to the Marvel Universe on screen that the comics enjoy.  However, instead of meaningful cross-over appearances and side stories that play integral parts of individual story arcs, as seen in many of the printed titles, they are peppering the movies with just enough references for someone who has seen the other films to say “oh, yeah… I know what they’re talking about.”

Unfortunately, this also means that those who have not seen the other films will just find the references confusing or uninteresting.

The movie itself does have some redeeming qualities.  In particular, we are treated to lots of explosions, and some eye-catching special effects.  The confrontation at the conclusion of the movie attempts to incorporate some of these special effects in a meaningful way into the plot, but it doesn’t really make up for a somewhat anticlimactic battle.

The basic plot, however, is somewhat interesting, and we do see some interesting characters along the way.    Harley Keener, played by Ty Simpkins, was perhaps the standout of the movie, and I found the scenes with him better than most of the dialogues with the more prominent characters.

The fight scenes were well-coordinated, and the abilities of the protagonists are both eye-catching and distinctive.

All in all, I found the movie to be a significant disappointment.  It failed to achieve the appeal of the preceding entries in the series, and certainly fell far short of the bar set by The Avengers.

Tony Stark sitting next to his Iron Man suit.

Yeah, it’s that exciting.